Bad Sub-Titles: Mr. & Mrs. Smith

I'm watching the pirated DVD Mr. & Mrs. Smith with English sub-titles and they mangle almost every line. Listing them all would take me forever so below I just list the major ones.

Very Well then, let's pop the hood

So it speaks but does it dance?

I hope so. I had to milk a goat to get it.

Ya know, I knew Gladus 2 and a half years before I asked her to marry me

You gotta have a friendship, a foundation to consider yourself safe

Getting Married!

So what did you think of Doctor Wexter

... have never seen the inside of that elevator

So I think we're going to have to re-upholster the sofas

Have you been selling big guns to bad people?

So Chuck got the promotion.

Oh look, more desert

Let's see if we can't get a tune out of this trombone

It can be arranged

Put a campfire out with it?

It's a nice surprise.

Well I hope everything works out OK.

Some figures didn't line up

Let's not get carried away. We don't want to go to sleep angry.


The guys we work with, they don't know, I'm never going to tell them.

Target's profile is our main priority

Utilize all means necessary

Research the database

Chicken Shit!


Mom! We're on high alert! I almost killed you right there. You cannot even realize!

I am so done playing games with this broad

You gotta take this bitch out head on

I thought I would just drop in, hey doll, thanks for giving me the shaft.

Wasn't I? Or was I?

Oh come on, it was just a little bomb.

I guess in the end you start thinking about the beginning.

Your aim is as bad as your cooking sweet heart

Whose your daddy now?

I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars.

The vacation in Aspen ...

I was partially deaf that night.

Why do I get the girl gun?

We need a new car.

I have to tell you ... I never really liked your cooking.

It's not your gift.

Baby, I've never cooked a day in my life

You know, sweet heart ... you're being a bit Hypocritical

It's not like your some beacon of truth

John ... my parents ...

These doors sure are handy.

We're gonna have to redo every conversation we've ever had.

Maybe? Johny got the entire agency gunning for you.

I find myself dragging my feet this morning

I think you owe me a little money anyway

Sweet, we don't understand each other and I understand that

You remember Canada?

Not a great shot, Johny

Would one of you guys mind changing the channel?

312? How? Some were two at a time

I'm on the police bands. This is not my first time.

I think we've established that. All right.

No, it was the John show,
it was half-assed like Christmas ...
like our Anniversary.

Your fake mother's birthday

You don't want a team. You want a servant for hire.

This isn't even a real marriage

Maybe it's not such a good idea to undermine me in front of the hostage

It sends a mixed message

Option A. You talk, we listen, no pain

Option B. You don't talk, I remove your thumbs with my plyers

They found our you're married so they teamed up

So, at least apart we know what the odds are

Let's just call this what is ... and what it isn't.

But you run, you'll always be running

I'll see you in the next lifetime Jane. Likewise John

I'm interested in the progress you've made

Ask us the sex question

Date Created October 19, 2005
Last Updated April 12, 2006